So, I was really stoked to write an informative, thought-provoking and highly entertaining recap of UFC Fight Night 36… after all, this was to be my first MMA recap for FAM, and I wasn’t just planning on tap dancing around this written ring, I was coming in like Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka…
…fearless and electrifying, right off the top of the cage!
My goal here is to bring you into my world; to see what I see, experience what I experience, live – for a brief moment in time, as I have lived. The only problem is that 10 lbs of sugar mixed with molasses couldn’t coat UFC Fight Night 36 enough to sweeten it’s pathetically bland taste. I would be doing you a huge disservice if I wrote anything other than a true and honest depiction of what I witnessednight – and what I witnessed, simply put, nearly bored me into a coma.
The best part about the prelims is that they weren’t on television – so I didn’t waste a minute of my time watching them. There were seven preliminary matches, which were all live on UFC Fight Pass. The results:
Zubaira Tukhokov defeated Douglas Silve de Andrade via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
Ildemar Alcantara defeated Albert Tumenov via Split Decision (30-27, 29-28, 28-29)
Felipe Arantes defeated Maximo Blanco via Unanimous Decision (29-27, 29-27, 29-27)
Iuri Alcantara defeated Wilson Reis via Split Decision (30-27, 30-27, 28-29 – what?)
Francisco Trinaldo defeated Jesse Ronson via Split Decision (30-27, 29-28, 28-29)
Rodrigo Damm defeated Ivan Jorge via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Joe Proctor defeated Cristiano Marcello via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
I passed on the Fight Pass, and after looking at the results, it appears that everyone who shelled out the ten bucks probably wished that they’d done the same. Then again, if you’re paying ten dollars a month for a service that only gives you a handful of preliminary cards a year – and no main events – then you’re probably a bigger fight fan than me, and you likely get off on watching a bunch of young bucks cut their teeth on some score cards. Don’t get me wrong, I watch the prelims when they’re on. I can appreciate the journey that these guys are on, scratching and clawing their way like some young cubs trying to grow into a bear. That said, personally, I like seeing fights finished in the cage – whether it be by knockout or submission, and these guys just rarely give the performance that I usually look for in an MMA bout. Granted, some of the best fights I’ve ever seen have gone to the cards, like last December’s epic beatdown that Mark Hunt and “Bigfoot” Silva put on each other…
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… but I don’t expect 7 prelim decisions. Maybe the main event will bring a little more excitement.
“It’s TIME!”, and all that.
At this point, I’m jacked. Sure, the first fight on the main card didn’t start until close to, but I was wading through a bottle of Appleton Estate Jamaican Rum, and after watching my boy Trey Burke win the NBA All-Star skills challenge, I was ready for the grounding and the pounding.
First fight up — Andy “The Little Axe” Ogle vs Charles “Do Bronx” Oliveira.
Analysis: Round 1 – First off, Oliveira’s nickname – what does that even mean?! Anyhow… in reading through my notes from the fight, one line really jumps off of the screen and seems to sum up the first round perfectly – “Boring ass round – with Ogle wearing Oliveira like a cape for most of it.” Need I say more? Oliveira pushed the Little Axe around quite a bit and draped himself all over his smaller opponent. Unfortunately, neither fighter really did much damage to the other, and the main card was picking up where the prelims left off.
Round 2 – Ogle brought a little more fire to round 2, and did a pretty decent job of smothering Oliveira. At one point, while holding “Do Bronx” against the cage, Ogle picked him up over his head, and buried his back into the mat. At that point, I really started to question whether there were really any fans in attendance – because the camera didn’t pan to them, and they weren’t giving us the usual chanting that makes UFC cards in Brazil so intimidating for the guys fighting the Brazilians. Then again, watching your boy get planted like that wouldn’t normally encourage you to stand up and start cheering. Toward the end of the round, however, after rolling around a bit, Oliveira regained some control and dug his hooks in before the round ended.
Round 3 – brought us the goods in the form of a cut on Ogle’s head and a triangle choke for a submission by Oliveira. There’s no point in glamourizing the moves that got us to these hallowed grounds, because other than the blood and the choke, this fight was pretty uneventful. Ogle actually had Oliveira on his back near the cage, and just made a crucial mistake which Oliveira capitalized on. That’s how it goes, sometimes. At least the fight was over, and we had a winner: Charles “Do Bronx” Oliveira, by submission.
Second fight — Viscarde Andrade vs Nicholas “Nico” Musoke.
Analysis: Round 1 – Andrade comes out and quickly takes command with an early take-down and then 4 or 5 punches. He pretty much lands the left hand at will. Early in the round Andrade delivers a heavy right hand that drops Musoke, but instead of jumping on the guy and finishing the knockout, this dude raises his hands like Rocky Balboa at the steps of the Philly Museum of Art.. What a douche. Had he pounced on Musoke with some hammer fists, as I’m sure he was trained to do, the fight would’ve had a great chance of ending, and he could’ve been drinking a nice warm bottle of Malta back in the dressing room. But alas, he hesitated, and Musoke recovered. Musoke gets back to his feet, they throw some strikes, nothing significant really lands, and the horn sounds to end the round. This will be a teaching moment for Andrade’s trainers, no doubt.
Round 2 – The Rise of Musoke. Nick Musoke recovered well from that brutal right that dropped him early, and took the fight straight to Andrade’s head and ribs in round 2. Musoke did a great job of controlling Andrade, holding him against the cage, kicking him in the head, landing some punches. At one point, Andrade appeared to be hurt. Musoke dropped him and had full mount position, dropping hammer fists all over Andrade’s head. At this point, the boos of the Brazilian fans assured me that they were, in fact, there. A few elbows to Andrade’s head end round 2, and we are looking at an intriguing round 3 full of the promise of potential stoppage!
Round 3 – Andrade came out throwing some strikes, but he was pretty obviously hurt during round 2, and it didn’t look like he had much gas left in the tank. Musoke drove him into the cage, dropped him and set the hooks in… he wrapped Andrade up and simply wouldn’t let him go. They literally rolled around in an embrace for most of the 3rd round, as Andrade tried desperately to break free from Musoke’s tentacle-like legs. Unfortunately, it was to no avail, and the fight ended with little fanfare as Andrade could not find a way to mitigate the damage that Musoke had done. The winner via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 29-28. 29-28) – Nicholas Musoke.
Third Fight – Erick “Indio” Silva vs Takenori Sato
Analysis: By far the most entertaining fight of the night, in my opinion. Enjoy it in its entirety:
I told you that Sato was meat. Dude doesn’t even have a nickname.
Fourth Fight – Ronaldo “Jocare” Souza vs Francis “Limitless” Carmont
Analysis: Round 1 – As the horn sounded and the fight began, I found myself genuinely surprised that the Frenchman hadn’t tapped out yet. Apparently, Limitless was ready for battle. What a warrior. So Souza and Carmont spent much of round 1 rolling around on the mat, with Souza maintaining control and Carmont doing all that he could not to get punched in the face. Pretty good strategy, in my opinion. Souza repeatedly came inches away from locking a choke on Carmont, and Carmont’s best defense was to make really exaggerated facial expressions… I mean the guy looked like a fish out of water with the faces he was giving the camera. The horn sounds, and Limitless escapes.
Round 2 – I’m not sure what Carmont’s trainers told the guy on the bench, but he comes out in round 2 straight mean-mugging Souza… taunting him, smiling at him, telling him to “bring it”. The guy was gasping for his life 2 minutes ago, now he’s Anderson Silva. Whatever. Maybe he just knew how boring round 2 would turn out, and felt like he needed to do something to keep us entertained. Anyway, nothing else noteworthy happened in this round. Carmont seemed to smother Souza a little bit here and there. I’m just glad it’s over, because Souza will surely feed off of the growing energy the Brazilian crowd has started to build in anticipation for the main event… hopefully he carries it to some type of finish in round 3.
Round 3 – The crowd is really fired up now, sensing the urgency that Souza is facing, and Souza feeds off of it. He takes Carmont down, locks in the hooks, and we basically get 3 minutes of this:
That’s Carmont, by the way, wrapped up like a birthday present and then raising his arms. Fight’s over, and the winner, by Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28) – Jocare Souza.
5th Fight and Main Event – Lyoto “The Dragon” Machida vs Gegard “The Dreamcatcher” Mousasi
Here is the entire fight in a nutshell: The fans cheered loudly. Machida circled left. Machida circled right. Machida exploded forward with strikes, some landed – some didn’t. Mousasi threw some sporadic punches, some sporadic kicks… not many really landed. He didn’t have an answer for Machida’s energy. Mousasi is just chillin, while Machida looks like he just railed an 8 ball back in the dressing room. More of the same. More of the same. At one point in round 4, they went to the mat, with Mousasi actually getting some control in side guard. They roll around a bit, Machida gets up to his feet and has he comes back down for some ground and pound, Mousasi drives an illegal kick into his face (Machida had a knee on the mat prior to the kick). Round 5 is more boredom, with Machida landing substantially more strikes but nothing really significant in terms of damage. The fight never really appeared to be close to ending until the final horn sounded… with Machida winning via Unanimous Decision (50-45, 50-45, 49-46)
And there you have it… one of the most underwhelming nights of UFC action I can remember. Thankfully, we’ve got “Rowdy” Rhonda Rousey vs Sara McMann,, at UFC 170 – to kick us in the ass and remind us what MMA is really all about!