by Larry “The Gut” Guttenheim
5. Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich
This has been a staple in Americana for as long as I can remember, and it’s still delicious to this day. Their main issue is consistency, as with all BK’s. Some are better than others but again, hell, that goes for most all fast food, as you never know what type of mongoloid is making your food. For me, this sandwich is much better if you add cheese.
4. Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich
Yeah, that’s right Stoner Stanley, your Spicy Chick is fourth. As good as it is, this list is elite. The Wendy’s burger game overall has lost some steam since Dave Thomas passed away from the fats and his fur trading daughter took over, but their spicy chicken sandwich is still a top notch sandwich. Again, cheese can only enhance this already delicious sandwich.
3. Zaxby’s Kickin Chicken
What really gets this sandwich in the top 3 is the always wonderful Texas toast and the tongue torch sauce. Unfortunately for some, Zaxby’s is only in 13 southern states so not everyone gets to partake in the goodness. It’s worth venturing into xenophobic redneck territory.
2. Chick-Fil-A Original and/or Spicy
Frankly, either is delicious, it just depends on if you are high or not. Normal people just need a regular sandwich. Add American cheese to the regular and pepper-jack to the spicy. Coat or dip in your choice of sauce. I would recommend CFA sauce for the original and a mixture of buffalo and ranch for the spicy. CFA Sauces in general, let alone slathered on the delicious chicken… timeless.
1. KFC Double Down [RIP]
Arguably the best sandwich of all time, but what can I say, I’m a 6-3, 300-pound Milwaukee native and heavy-breathing trucker with a self reported case of the fats. Bacon and cheese sandwiched between two fried chicken breasts = amazing. Just step back those who hate this choice, KFC was using chicken as bread, which in it’s own right is a Nobel worthy idea. Then they added bacon and cheese, and my heart stopped. Likely from love, but perhaps from a torn aorta.