“News” and trends for the indifferent. We hardly care, but we kinda do.
Trump V Hillary 2016: America’s Saddest Choice
Despite the unlikely partnership of the two surviving Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump successfully swept the five states in play in yesterdays primary elections. Similarly, Hillary Clinton thrashed Bernie Sanders, who may or may not realize election cycles eventually end, and all but set up a showdown between her and the well-coiffed billionaire. While Trump savors his sure fire nomination Ted Cruz looks to make a few waves by naming another Trump pile driver victim Carly Fiorina as a VP running mate. At this point, when Chris Christie has a better chance of opening a can of Hormel chili beans using an old fashioned can opener without going into cardiac arrest than Ted Cruz actually winning the GOP nomination, naming a VP is as desperate as picking up an STD-less date during last call after the lights come on. It’s all over Ted.
Several NFL teams prepare to make idiotic picks
For a select few college football athletes the NFL Draft is the beginning of a prosperous career. For the rest it’s the beginning of a sad journey filled with cuts, trades, injuries and the prospect of having to share a locker room with a naked Richie Inconito. Whether it ends in a glorious golden jacket or in a rest home at the age of 27 wondering what year it is, it all starts at the NFL draft. FAM has compiled several common sense drafts, including a titanic 253 pick mock draft) and trades that will not be taken into consideration by the front office folks wielding millions of dollars, enjoy.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 years since the Chernobyl nuclear power plant exploded and spewed radioactive waste into the atmosphere over Ukraine. After years of mutated babushkas, the fall of the Soviet Union, tiny giraffe owning oligarchs, countless bears riding on unicycles and the rise of shirtless Putin, Firstandmonday’s own Mike Heath turns back the clock and returns to that fateful day in Pripyat, Ukraine. Break out the vodka and hazmat suits, Пойдем!