Stereotypical College Football Fans

Let’s face it, stereotypes exist for a reason. When I think of a Rush concert I immediately think of the world’s largest collection of silver pony tails. Why? Because the fact is the average Rush fan is still rocking a pony tail that has long ago turned grey.

So when you and I think of a particular college’s fan base, we will probably share plenty of common images in our minds. Let’s just go ahead and put those images in an article so we can all ridicule these people.

Stereotypical College Football Fans

By Bruce Harris

Notre Dame Fans

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Angry, drunk, over-privileged white guys of above average incomes who are from the Northeast or Midwest. They didn’t attend the school but you’d never guess that by looking at their closets full of gear. Judge these people harshly for they surely have already judged you.

Tennessee Fans

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Drunk southern boys who are just as apt to try and light a Big Green Egg with a flame thrower as they are to pass out in the parking lot during a tailgate and miss the entire game. To these fans “Go Big Fucking Orange” isn’t just a saying, it’s a way of life. And lucky for them, they’ve already won the game of life.

Miami Fans

They don’t show up to games. And if you are a visiting fan, just be happy that they didn’t show up. As as a long time season ticket holder that actually does go to the stadium, I can tell you our fans are pretty awful when it comes to the little things: Like not stabbing the visiting fans and not punching the other home fans.

USC Fans

Hollywood types and/or gang members. Don’t say Fight On! to someone that looks like they might be in the MS13.

Ohio State Fans

Angry, drunk, chippy, “likes to fight” white dude. OSU fans have earned their reputation as the worst fans to be around. Such trash.

West Virginia Fans

One out of three WVU fans will resemble their mascot, Daniel Boone. They are said to enjoy incest, animal fucking and couch burning, usually all at the same time. Party!

Florida State Fans

Hot chicks. #Winning.

Michigan Fans

These days, Wolverine fans tend to be younger in age and quite confused as to why their team isn’t better. Being as passionate as any fan base is a double edged sword, as the highs feel higher but the lows, my god the lows…1-800-273-TALK.

Florida Fans

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Yup, you got it…jorts. They are like Tennessee fans but with better ACT scores.

Alabama Fans

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The Bama bangs. The houndstooth. The out-kicked coverage with girls they don’t deserve. Its good to be the king.

LSU Fans

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I’ve heard they smell like corn dogs. Not sure what that means, but Cajuns and Mardi Gras always comes to mind.

Nebraska Fans

I used to think they were all just old farmers but that generation has recently died off from cirrhosis, leaving behind them the new generation of Corn Heads. They’ll welcome you to Lincoln with open arms and shake your hand after the game win or lose, just don’t let them puke on your shoes.

Texas Fans

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I hope their team starts winning again. CFB is better when Texas is good. But for now all that comes to mind is disappointed, over weight white guys flashing the Hook Em sign.

Georgia Tech Fans

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Time to break away from the strong theme of over testosteroned white guys running in this article and give some love to the nerdy international students. They probably have terrible taste in food, as well.

Penn State Fans

Two tailgating fans decided to make a controversial statement with their tanktops on Saturday.

Ok, now back to the white guys. Cultish, in denial, a culture of enabling pedophilia, etc. Am I wrong? What else comes to mind when thinking of this lot?

Mississippi State Fans

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This gif pretty much sums up my thoughts on this topic.

Thanks for reading and to meet some stereotypical college football fans swing by our message boards.

Follow us on Twitter @firstandmonday @thebruceharris.