International Beer Day

Pictured: Liquified happiness

What is the best beer made on Earth? That’s easy, ALL OF THEM. Lagers, ales, stouts, bitter, porter, IPA: It doesn’t matter cuz it’s all good baby. What is important is that you keep that delicious golden manna flowing. Today on International Beer Day we set aside our differences and rejoice that beer snobs and six pack schmoes can sit stool by stool and for at least one day declare “Have another brew on me you beautiful beer bellied bastard!”

What puts beer a frothy head and shoulders above all other alcoholic beverages is the way it attacks all your senses.

Sight: Beer for the most part is a shade gold. And as we all know, humans have an unhealthy attraction to gold. Beer is a gold chain in carbonated liquid form.

Touch: There is a split second when beer touches tongue, before the flavor overtakes you, that is indescribable. Besides somehow making love to a keg through a sealed opening it is something that can only be experienced firsthand.

Hearing: If Pavlov’s experiment with his dog also applies to humans then your mouth will soon be watering while watching this video.

Smell: Nobody likes the smell of a beer soaked hobo after a week of boozing. Take away the urine and feces and that hobo goes from stripping paint to smelling like a delicious heavy malty brew.

Taste: And here we are, the meat and potatoes of it. The reason the world loves beer, besides getting crippled, is because it taste so good. Liquid bread that gets you annihilated is like something an alcoholic child dreamed up.