May 15, 1905 – Las Vegas is Founded

Las Vegas: Where celebrity impersonators go to die.

When Las Vegas was founded on this date in 1905, it was just another stop over railroad town in the middle of the Mojave Desert’s wastelands. It took a monumental construction of the Hoover damn, the splitting of the atom and La Cosa Nostra to turn Las Vegas from a sleepy desert dump to the modern Sodom and Gomorrah it is today.

The first obstacle Las Vegas faced after its founding was the lack of water and electricity. Since H2O is essential to life, Vegas had to wait until 1935 when the Hoover Dam was constructed to harvest the Colorado River’s hydro energy in order to sustain a sizable population. At this same time the Federal government was using the surrounding desert to test its newest weapon of mass destruction called the “A bomb,” and provided Las Vegas with an influx of military personnel looking to whet their whistle after a long day of bending the laws of physics for terrible purposes.

Welcome to Jers…..Vegas. Enjoy your stay you pezzi de merdia.

When the State of Nevada moved to legalize gambling in 1931, the East Coast Italian mob took notice of the favorable year round temps, close distance from the Lake Mead Reservoir and the City of Los Angeles, and the very welcoming native population of rednecks eager to turn a quick buck. (As well as a vast arid desert for digging holes.) With the mobs influence, the city of Las Vegas became the money sucking desert flower we know today.

Whether it’s a quick wedding you’re sure to regret, a weekend of gambling and bad decisions with your boys, or just a stop in town to watch Floyd “Money” Mayweather dance around a boxing ring, Las Vegas is the place to be. In this wondrous city of sin you can find the Eiffel Tower, Great Pyramids, a medieval castle and even Caesars Palace. If you’re the artsy type, catch a Blue Man Group show or the comedic genius of our time’s greatest comic, Carrot Top. Whatever you do just make sure to bring your drinking and gambling shoes and remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. That is unless you get caught propositioning a transsexual prostitute, that stays with you the rest of your life. Or so they say