March 7, 1876 – Alexander Graham Bell Patents Telephone

Get me a large supreme on a pan crust, no olives. And if there’s olives anywhere on that pizza I swear to God I’ll drive down there and make you eat it through your eye socket.

Alexander Graham Bell’s invention of the telephone heralded an era of communication that changed the world. The telephone, along with a spiderweb of cable and series of switchboard manned by little blue haired old ladies, allowed people to hear each others voices hundreds and even thousands of miles away. The days of the cryptic telegraph where over as individuals could now listen to each other and decide whether this SOB was talking in a disrespectful tone.

Bell could have never envisioned that his telephone would go from the wooden wall mount, to the hilarious looking candlestick phone, then the home rotary. Eventually the phone would reach its zenith when it went wireless and became a small rectangular object in every teenage girls purse with as much computing power as the lunar lander.

Had Bell known that his invention would eventually evolve into the most powerful device any single individual in the first world could legally have, the weight of that realization would have certainly killed him. That or trying to break a new Candy Crush personal record.