FAM’s NFL Kings Of The Hill Week 5 Recap

king-of-the-hill

NFL Kings Of The Hill Week 5 Recap

By JDuggernaut

 

Week 5 in the NFL was full of surprises and records, but there was very little shakeup at the top of the Hills. Here’s this week’s King of the Hill.

AFC East

Crown – The Pats are still kings, but a new foe is on the horizon.

What Happened – The Pats outran the Colts, the Dolphins were drowned by the Bengals, the Jets soared past the Broncos and the Bills won their clash with the Titans.

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New England and Indianapolis don’t seem to meet as often as they did during the Manning days, but the Patriots still have the Colts’ regular season number, as Tom Brady shook off a couple of interceptions to beat Indy 38-24 in the Thursday night game. Miami lost their second in a row, as Ryan Tannehill looked like Ryan Tannehill yet again in the 27-17 loss to Cincinnati. The two rookie quarterbacks scored their second NFL wins as Sam Darnold and the Jets knocked the Broncos off 34-16, and Josh Allen and the Bills pulled off a 13-12 upset over Tennessee.

AFC North

Crown – The Crown still sports Bengal stripes.

What Happened – Cincinnati beat Miami, THE BROWNS WON A DIVISIONAL GAME OVER THE OLD BROWNS and Pittsburgh trounced Atlanta as if they were Clayton Kershaw.

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The Bengals are quietly putting together a really solid start to the season, as they just beat Miami 27-17 in Joe Mixon’s return. Baker Mayfield picked up his first win as a starter by beating the Ravens 12-9 in overtime in a game in which Joe Flacco struggled mightily but somehow outrushed Lamar Jackson. Pittsburgh and Antonio Brown won what was, in effect, a do-or-die game with Atlanta by a score of 41-17, though Brown now has bigger concerns with a pending lawsuit for going all Rooms To Go by throwing furniture out of a 14th story room.

AFC South

The Crown – Nobody seems to want the Crown, but Tennessee retains it by default.

What Happened – Tennessee came back down to earth by following two impressive wins with a terrible Buffalo loss, Jacksonville kept Mahomes from throwing a touchdown and still got blown out, Houston won the Texas State Championship over Dallas, and the Colts lost to their old foes from New England.

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The Titans saw their momentum get killed as Marcus Mariota struggled to outduel Josh Allen in a 13-12 loss to the Bills. Blake Bortles did not do a good job of throwing to the right team, as his four interceptions doomed the Jags in a 30-14 loss to the Chiefs in a mini-monsoon. Houston won a 19-16 overtime meeting with their in-state foes Dallas as Deshaun Watson put up another 300 yard outing. Andrew Luck looked better than he has, but his big day did not help the Colts pull out a win, as they lost 38-24 to the Pats.

AFC West

The Crown – Kansas City had a big statement win.

What Happened – The Chiefs beat the Jags in what could be foreshadowing of a playoff matchup, Los Angeles won a divisional game over a former LA team and the Broncos lost to the lowly Jets.

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The Chiefs are for real. Despite Patrick Mahomes looking like a mere mortal, Kansas City dominated Jacksonville, 30-14. The Chargers were able to take care of business against the Raiders, as Philip Rivers carried them to a 27-10 win. Denver struggled to a 34-16 loss against the Jets, despite Case Keenum actually looking serviceable. The Raiders are still struggling in Jon Gruden’s return, as they lost what was more or less a must-win to LA.

NFC East

The Crown – The Eagles are trying to give away the crown, but nobody else wants it.

What Happened – Everyone lost in excruciating fashion.

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Nobody can seem to get things going in the East. The Eagles’ rally in the NFC Championship rematch with the Vikings fell short, as Carson Wentz lost to his favorite team growing up by a score of 23-21. The Redskins and Alex Smith were blown out on Drew Brees Day in the Superdome, dropping a Monday Night contest to the Saints 43-19. Jason Garrett is feeling the heat in Big D after the Cowboys lost 19-16 to the Texans in overtime. The Giants lost for the second year in a row on a 60+ yard field goal at the end of a game, this time by a score of 33-31 against the Panthers despite a huge day from Odell Beckham as a receiver and a passer.

NFC North

The Crown – The Bears gain the crown by virtue of a bye.

What Happened – Chicago had the week off, Minnesota got a small measure of revenge and Detroit handled Green Bay with ease.

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This division seems to have no clarity at all, as all four teams could stake some claim to the throne. Chicago will hold the crown for now, as they are the only team in the division over .500. Minnesota finally got back in the win column, as Kirk Cousins was ruthlessly efficient in the 23-21 takedown of the Eagles. Detroit beat Green Bay 31-23 after a big day from Kenny Golladay. Aaron Rodgers compiled huge numbers in the loss, though those were inflated after playing catch-up all day.

NFC South

The Crown – Heavy is the head that wears the crown, but the head is not as heavy as it once was since Brees got that mole removed.

What Happened – The Saints blew the Redskins out on a record-setting day, the Panthers beat the Giants on a near record-setting field goal, the Bucs had to keep Jameis busy on their bye week and the Falcons can start booking tee times in January.

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Breesus, King of the Drews placed his name firmly atop the record books when he broke Peyton Manning’s record for most career passing yards in a 43-19 rout over Washington. Graham Gano also nearly added a record in the Panthers’ 33-31 win over the Giants, as his 63 yard field goal with one second left was just shy of the league record. Tampa Bay had the week off. Atlanta laid an egg in a do-or-die game, losing to Pittsburgh 41-17, as Falcons fans have to wonder if Sark is back on the sauce.

NFC West

The Crown – The crown was not at stake, but the Rams managed to eek out another win.

What happened – The Rams beat the 12th Man in Seattle, and the Cardinals proved it’s better late than never by beating the 49ers to earn their first win of the season.

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The Los Angeles Rams survived a real scare in Seattle, as they won a 33-31 nail biter. Todd Gurley carried them over the divisional foes with three touchdowns on the ground, as Seattle fell short despite three passing touchdowns from Russell Wilson and nearly 200 yards on the ground as a team. Josh Rosen and the Cardinals finally got a win, as Rosen became the fourth rookie quarterback to win on the day with the 28-18 victory over San Francisco. CJ Beathard looked decent again in relief of the injured Jimmy Garoppolo, but it wasn’t enough to prevent a double digit loss for the Niners in a game in which they doubled up the Cardinals in total yards.

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