July 30, 1898 – Will Kellogg Invents Corn Flakes

Just because Corn Flakes has a rooster on the box doesn’t mean it contains chicken. It’s actually made from humans.

Before 1898 the typical American breakfast consisted of a greasy plate of eggs, potatoes, some kind of pork product and coffee. Delicious! Unfortunately for the poor that type of good eating existed only for those with the means to clog their arteries with an amazing breakfast. For the average Joe the first meal of the day was usually porridge, oatmeal or rye whiskey.  It wasn’t until Will Kellogg introduced the corn flake that Americans had access to a nutritious and delicious breakfast as well as a meal for those times when you just say “Screw it, I’ll just pour myself a bowl of cereal and forget I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Kellogg initially invented the cereal as a healthy alternative for guests at his Battle Creek Sanitarium. Guest, who weren’t actually crazy, enjoyed the pioneering health techniques of Will Kellogg and his brother John Harvey. Corn flakes became a hit among the health conscious guests after it was discovered that the toasted rolled corn kernels and cold milk combination made a delicious tandem. Kellogg soon patented his recipe and, after initially rejecting sugar, acquiesced and turned corn flakes into the breakfast staple it is today.

While Kellogg invented corn flakes as a healthy alternative to the lard loaded breakfast fare of his day, today’s thousands of sugary cereal options are more likely to cause diabetes than good health. And why shouldn’t cereal be delicious? If you’re looking for a socially awkward leprechaun or a chocolate loving vampire to dictate your health then you deserve to be a 400 pound behemoth. For the rest of us that enjoy corn flakes without the equivalent of a cup of sugar per bowl, congratulations! You’re no longer 10 years old!