COW – Sheron Lamar Rogers

sheron-lamar-rogersAs the mystery of the missing Malaysia Airlines passenger jet continues to grow, so do the number of conspiracy theories. Terrorist hijacking, Russian guided cruise missile, alien abduction, pilot on pilot prank gone wrong, we’ve heard them all…….or have we? Thanks to Sheron Lamar Rogers we can add another theory to the list – rapture brought on by Jesus.

Obviously the rapture theory has a few holes. For one, when Rogers flashed his gang signs in a Southwest Airlines flight from Seattle to Sacramento an actual heavenly rapture didn’t happen, and it was not sign-language. Secondly, Rogers may or may not be an alcoholic schizophrenic that also abuses “purple hash.” Being a substance abuser, or simply crazy, doesn’t mean one can’t witness his or her beliefs to others (the apostles spent most days following Jesus around while hungover). Unfortunately for Rogers though, Southwest Airlines and the FFA are less forgiving than God Almighty himself, and had Rogers arrested after he pressed the emergency button mid-flight to demand wine then ran wild on the crew with menacing gestures… for Jesus.

While Rogers may have been at fault for telling flight attendants to “Get the f*ck outta my face”, even if he added “Jesus loves you,” this can be a learning experience. Lets take this incident and apply it towards a bigger issue. Until we discover the Malaysian Airlines jet, all options must be exhausted. And that includes the possibility that a passenger on that flight had just smoked purple hash and signaled to Gangsta Jesus that it was time to head to the big golden crib in the sky. For lending a hand through this terrible tragedy, Sheron Lamar Rogers is FirstandMonday’s Champion of the Week.