Conspiracy theorists react with sudden painful erections to Egypt Air crash

Much like how food snobs react to words like pork, belly and fleur de sel, the words “missing airliner” cause conspiracy theorists to involuntarily eject bodily fluids into their foil lined undergarments.

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“I’ve cross referenced every commercial and military flight with leaked NASA information and it always leads back to aliens……and Pornhub.”

Despite early evidence suggesting a possible act of terrorism as the culprit that downed the Paris to Cairo jet liner, things like overwhelming facts do little to sway conspiracy buffs from the possibility that some sort of New World Order plot to randomly high jack passenger airliners in a nefarious plan (possibly funded by alien Nazis living on the dark side of the moon) to bring down society as we know it.

More often than not the conspiracy theory, HAM radio listening yahoos are wrong, as they will be in this case. But as Rasheed Wallace once said during the 2004 NBA Finals “The sun gonna shine on a dog’s ass eventually.” I want to be one of the few that believed so I warmly welcome our Lunar Socialist overlords, Heil Moon Feuhrer!

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“Herzlich willkommen, Buzz”