The Sochi Olympics haven’t exactly gone off without a hitch but come on, this is pretty good for Russia. The world’s media made everyone believe that a terrorist would be blowing himself up at every event and the Olympic village would be overrun with bears and drunken bearded Russians. None of that happened and besides a hazardous half-pipe we can rest easy knowing the beloved athletes we just found out existed will be safe in Sochi.
American bobsledder Johnny Quinn will be the first to tell you that the Sochi games have been a wonderful experience. “Russians have done a great job with the venue, unfortunately though, I got locked in this morning,”. That’s right, Quinn was locked in the bathroom of his room. Far from earshot of his teammates Quinn, who was hopefully showering with his mouth closed, found the door of the bathroom seemingly barred. Quinn didn’t spend four years training and qualifying for Sochi just to die trapped in a Russian bathroom so he did the only thing elite bobsledders do in this type of situation, use brutal physical force. Quinn broke down, no, annihilated, the bathroom door and once again breathed sweet Russian freedom.
Unlike Bob Costa who let a little bit of pink eye end his Olympic adventure before it began, Quinn battled and persevered. (By the way, how Bob Costa got fecal matter anywhere near his face in Sochi is a mystery that isn’t being reported as much as it should.) For representing the stars and stripes with honor Johnny Quinn is FirstandMonday’s Champion of the Week. See you on a Wheaties box Johnny!!