Champion of the Week


What did Napoleon Bonaparte, Sir Winston Churchill and petty criminal Christopher Miller all have in common? They all needed to take care of unfinished business.

“Hey, Cornhole…GTFO.”

Napoleon once famously said “Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.”

“Make mine a double.”

Churchill once famously said “We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

“Must…rob…shoe store.”

You maybe thinking to yourself, well who the hell is Christopher Miller? Well you don’t have to be a decorated general proven in war or a master politician to have the sack to say “I’m not going to rest until I successfully knock off that Stride Rite store and take those shoe peddling bastards for all their worth!” And that’s just what Christopher Miller did, even if it took him 15 years.

Like Napoleon, who was forced to abdicate power and live in exile in the island of Elba, Miller did a fifteen year stint in a New Jersey prison for armed robbery. Napoleon escaped Elba the same year but was finally defeated at Waterloo and striped of power and titles. For Miller, his exile was longer, fourteen and a half years longer to be exact, but like Napoleon, Miller returned to doing what he loved, robbing stores……actually the same store.

But did Miller really meet his shoe store Waterloo like Napoleon?  Or did he simply do what Churchill did after his own return from political exile and stare his enemy in the face and say “We shall never surrender!”. Churchill took the fight to the Nazis and led Britain out of WWII with pure grit and determination, but also patience and good old keepin’ on. Miller might have been foiled during his first go at that shoe store but he waited patiently for fifteen years and…….was foiled again a day later.

Christopher Miller forces us into two groups: Those that think Miller is so mentally damaged that even fifteen years in prison couldn’t make him realize that robbing the same store that put you in jail in the first place is bordering on insanity; or those that believe that Miller is cut from the same cloth as Napoleon and Churchill and simply refuses to accept defeat. In the end it’s probably a bit of both and Miller is just a crazy son of a bitch. But, Christopher Miller shows no quit. Never has. Never will. And for that, he is FirstandMonday’s Champion of the Week.