Tax Day, Everybody Drop To The Floor And Get Butt Nekkid!

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Pay your taxes, or don’t. But for real, you better pay your taxes.

Tax Day is without a doubt the most patriotic day in the American calendar. Yep, you read that right. While we show our love for our great nation by blowing up bull frogs on the 4th of July, or by admiring the elderly on Veterans Day, or by honoring fallen on Memorial Day, it doesn’t really separate the true red blooded Americans from the wannabe’s like Tax Day. Until you can bring yourself to write a check to Uncle Sam or cash your refund check at the nearest gas station, how can you say that you truly love your country?

If you haven’t filed your taxes by April 18 there will not be a couple of IRS agents dressed in black outside your home ready to pick you up and take you to tax prison. In fact you can get away with not filing or paying your taxes for a long time, just not forever. Even the rich and famous have had or still have millions in unpaid taxes owed to the Federal government – like washed up actors Wesley Snipes and Nicolas Cage, journeyman QB Mark Brunell, reverse racist and former Fugee Lauryn Hill, and even former mob kingpin Al Capone. Unless you are a multi-billion dollar corporation or Dick Cheney, all Americans must file and pay taxes in one form or another.

For the majority of us working Americans, Tax Day, or at least the “day you went to get your taxes did,” could mean getting a handsome refund check straight from the US Treasury. It sorta feels like the federal government owed you money and sent you a check so you didn’t show up at your Senator’s home to break his ankles. We pay our damn taxation, now we reserve the right to tar and feather our representation. Is that not why we broke the British shackles of oppression and taxation by a monarch an entire world away? Taxes and the subsequent benefits (be they political, a simple tax return, or perhaps an Obama-phone), built our nation into the great democracy it is. Now we can reap the fruits of our labors, and tax the holy hell out of them. God Bless America!

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